Winter, you suck.

Here it comes again, six months of grey, cold, wet, shovels, ice, accidents, commercialism, religious competition and general buffoonery. No sunlight, no break in the cloud cover, just grey gray grae until May.

Can’t get anywhere in a reasonable time, can’t commute safely, can’t stand the insincere “Happy Holidays!” from the happy happy sales clerks.

Can’t purchase anything without muscling your way through noisy, smelly crowds of humanity, and fighting for those precious few parking spaces miles from the store (in a snow drift).

Can’t get the damn car to even start, because it plunged deep into sub-zero last night. Can’t get your packages delivered on time (because the Delivery Vans also can’t get anywhere). Doesn’t matter, you’re plowed in anyway.

The Television Professional Plastic People glee at every parade and event, with their pristine polished enthusiasm. Let’s start the advertising blitz a month earlier this year, everybody loves ads! Shill it, shill it, media hoes! Ho ho hoes.

The glass is half full or half empty. My friend Bob likes winter. My friend Bob needs psychiatric examination.

I mean, come on, the guy is a cat-warmer!

I’ll be over here Grinch-ing and Humbug-ing. Let me know when it’s a civilized month again. July, maybe.

RecDave Seal

Yes, I swear at weather

 

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9 thoughts on “Winter, you suck.”

    1. Oh, I once lived on the Gulf Coast, so I have experienced the snow-free winters, too. Maybe the Sahara or something, Hell at the opposite extreme. But ya know, what’s weather for, if we can’t find something to grumble about?

      1. Similar latitudes, I’m just a hair further north. The magic of Google says “Mild, rainy winters” for Croatia, the Adriatic’s fairly warm ya?

      2. That is for the south of the country, on the sea,… but they get their share of cooold strong wind called “bura” and some snow. We here on the north have strong winters, last yeah there wasn’t much snow, but normally there is a lot – making problems in traffic but fun everywhere else haha… I am near the mountain Medvednica and there is snow every winter, we have skiing competition as a part of World Ski season (like you have the one in Salt Lake City), men and women. And Velebit, although more south is always in the colder months covered in snow. But summers are hot, very enjoyable in the coast 🙂 also, we are somewhat unimpressed with celebrities in terms of screaming and chasing them…(we do get them in the media) so they find their escape here, specially the bigger ones like Beyonce and Jay Z, Ellen DeGeneres with Portia, Snoop Dogg, Djs play on the coast like Ricky Romero, David Guetta loves it here and comes every year and frankly I don’t know who else because I don’t remember… But yeah, they like it. Beyonce daughter Blue Ivy is named after a tree which they found while vacationing here – fun fact.
        We just hope no more celebrities figure out how lovely it is lol, specially because the Game of Thrones the Kings Landing is entirely filmed here in Dubrovnik.

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