Mother Nature responds!

Yesterday, your pet/baby/inanimate object could read your post. Today, they can write back (thanks for the suggestion, lifelessons!). Write a post from their point of view (or just pick any non-verbal creature/object).

Uh oh. Winter called, she has some comments about that trolling you did yesterday.

I talked to my wife for just a few moments this morning about this assignment. “I don’t really have a point of view for Winter”. She responded “Easy! What did that guy say, Mother Nature is a Bitch.”

‘That guy’, near as I can figure, is Dr. Andrew Fassbach (Elyes Gabel, World War Z):

Mother Nature is a serial killer. No one’s better. Or more creative. Like all serial killers, she can’t help the urge to want to get caught. What good are all those brilliant crimes if no one takes the credit? So she leaves crumbs. Now the hard part, why you spend a decade in school, is seeing the crumbs. But the clue’s there. Sometimes the thing you thought was the most brutal aspect of the virus, turns out to be the chink in its armor. And she loves disguising her weaknesses as strengths. She’s a bitch.

Kind of chillingly prophetic, given the current Ebola scare…ain’t it?

Anyway, good old chilly, bitchy Mother Nature takes her swings in today’s post. Keep your heads down, this could get ugly.

Okay, hairball. I’ve been listening to clowns like you complaining about me ever since ya’ll discovered this writing thing. Damn that Hammurabi; I knew that not-squashing Babylon immediately was a mistake.

You scurry around, with your pointless little existences, and all I hear is whine, whine, whine. Your 1wp‘s just make me tear all up, really. You can’t get into those hydrocarbon-burning pollution machines and get on with your long daily commutes in a timely manner?

Do you know how much damage you’re doing with your little cars, every single day? Shut up before I smite you.

Awwwww, it’s all gray. Grey’s color too, dimwit. And don’t even start that no-sunlight whine, unless you really want to see what raw, unfiltered sunlight will do to mess up your day (does “ozone layer” ring any bells, car-driver??). Thank me for the clouds, and the ozone too; I’ll wait.

If you really want to complain about how people behave in winter, you might maybe want to not make so many of them? You’re pushing my capacity to feed them all, you know. Oh, do you guys totally need a good smiting.

Can’t get your cars to start? GOOD.

My sympathy is with Bob and his warm kitty. Like Penn said, unless you and yours are staving–you need to STFU.

RecDave Seal

Whew, narrowly avoided a Smiting





2 thoughts on “Mother Nature responds!”

  1. I’m on politics overload at the moment, but even if I weren’t, this is so refreshing. 🙂 I’m one of the whiners when there is no sun, but, as we all know, there is a darn good reason for winter, as there is for all of the seasons. So I get out to do what I gotta do; hibernate when I can, and
    ( woo hoo… ) it’s spring.

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