Ph33r meh

My wife still doesn’t believe it, but I can prove it. And one day, I will.

There is a causal effect shared by my car and the weather. My car has a great deal of power over the universe. I will explain.

The very act of driving my car in bad weather–will instantly cause hundreds of knuckle-draggers to climb into their cars and take to the road, solely to come drive in front of me on the highway.

It’s true! The stupidest people on the planet, invariably, choose the worst weather as the perfect time to drive on the same roads with me.

Or perhaps my car just emits an IQ-reduction field, in a frontal cone? More scientific testing is required in order to explain this phenomenon.

My car can actually make the weather worse!

The weather grows colder, the snowfall grows heavier, the wind blows harder—the closer my gas tank is to “E”. If I pull into the gas station running on fumes, a localized blizzard is sure to be happening.

It astonishes and befuddles weathermen. But I can worsen a winter storm, just by trying to get to work!

Coincidence, you say. Thou Doubting Thomases, you will learn to Fear my car’s Awesum Cosmic Powah.

Some day, I may drive to your place to visit.

Better have your snow shovels ready.

RecDave Seal

You can single-handedly create a causal relation between two things that are currently unconnected — a word and an emotion, a song and an extreme weather event, wearing a certain color and winning the lottery. What cause would you link to what effect, and why?

Don’t make me do it!


7 thoughts on “Ph33r meh”

    1. Of course not. That would require actually washing it at some point.

      I can make mechanics eagerly order new additions for their homes by driving my car into their parking lots, though.

    1. Does my car summon sunshine? No, not really. Would its snow-summoning attributes fail in warmer climes?

      My money’s still on the Car, even at the Equator.

      Think an exorcism would help?

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