Tourists, feh.

It’s just a quiet little grove. Not much happening, except peace and quiet. The perfect vacation spot, the place “idyllic” was invented to describe.

No fourty-hour work weeks, no farming chores to attend to. Food’s provided! Nothing to buy, no use for money.

Maybe too quiet. Need to find someone to talk to, or I’ll just go bugtussle.

And when I wake up the next morning, there she is. Love at first sight! Perfect, just ask and you will receive.

But there is one rule. She makes breakfast for us with a special treat added to the usual fruit basket.

A nice, juicy red apple. (According to some, you could make a case for pomegranates, too).

One bite, and here it comes:

“OK, That’s it. Everybody, out of the pool. Out!”

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What’s your dream tourist destination — either a place you’ve been and loved, or a place you’d love to visit? What about it speaks to you?

Why did it have to be snakes?

Think Global

Hmm, globe, sphere, 3-dimensional solids. Geometry, cosines damn but we hated geometry in trig class, didn’t we? It hated us in Calculus, yes it did.

Why can’t we Think Cubical? I’ve always been pretty square. But no, eventually that gets us right back in the cubicle farm, doesn’t it?

Tetrahedron! Now that’s a good classic geometric solid for you. But don’t leave the pointy little buggers lying around on the floor in the dark, owch! Tiny caltrops, just waiting to pounce on big, clumsy bare feet.

Octahedron, now we’re talking, good stuff Maynard. But those eight-siders were so rarely used, just sucking up loads of space in the dice bag.

My favorite, of all time: Dodecahedron. 12 sides, constructed of pentagons. I made one with poster board and tape once, for some school project or other. It was the très kewlness, a much better time than those other Platonic solids.

And twelve different points of view to look at the world, unlike that Sphere.

Of course some smartass will surely point out that Icosahedron fans have even more viewpoints. Indecisive bastards!

So don’t think Globally. Think Geometrically!

And let your nerd flag fly.

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“Think global, act local.” Write a post connecting a global issue to a personal one.

Nerd. That’s my personal issue, I’m guessin’.

Cassandra’s Confectionery

Thanks to social media, the new store front was booming. Foodies drove from all over town to sample my product. I put the finishing touches on another box of chocolate-dipped fortune cookies, carefully adding the last of the sprinkles and boxing them up. A half-dozen tiny fates, perfect for the family of six.

“Next customer.”

“That’s me. Two, please.”

“Are you married?”

“No, just really hungry, thanks.”

I raised an eyebrow and pointed to the placard.

*** Fortune Cookies — ONE per customer ***

But he was insistent. They never learn.

He seemed pleased with the outcome of his first fortune, rudely munching his cookie while leaning on the counter.

“Says I’ll receive some happy news,” he nodded at me.

“I’m sure you will soon,” I smiled.

He didn’t seem to notice that the second cookie he cracked open (unlike all of the others) contained a black note.

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Inspired by this week’s Picture It & Write prompt.

Iceberg! Hard to starboard!

Poseidon stirred the wine in his kylix with a miniature of his famous trident. The resulting vortex capsized several Egyptian merchant ships in the eastern Mediterranean.

Bored, his attention wandered. The worst thing about the mortal world is just passing the time. Oh, the sacrifices and annual virgin quotas were all right, but where’s the challenge?

He toyed with the miniature of his latest sea monster, the dread cold beast Freyon. The monster looked like an iceberg (at least the small part above the waves).

Hmm, is that a cargo barge departing Athens? I’ve always hated Athens.

“Sic ‘em, beastie!”

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Inspired by this week’s Sunday Photo Fiction prompt.

Waves engulfing a lighthouse (that’s a lighthouse?)

I see a barge + iceberg. (Oh, helps to view the image at full size, guess that is a wave). Like mine better!

 

The Merchandising Awakens

Star Wars, Episode I (Phantom Menace).

I thought we’d never come back from that one??

But then Episodes 2 and 3…oh, oh no no no no no. LucasArts, a victim of its own merchandising. Could the franchise possibly recover?

No. You can hold out hope for Episode VII, if you want to. But the franchise is dead. It died years ago.

Someone should bury the corpse already, it stinks.

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The Star Wars franchise is like the thirty-ninth(!!!) Xanth book. Sure, Piers can continue milking it forever. But will anyone still care?

Write about anything you’d like, but make sure the post includes this sentence:

“I thought we’d never come back from that one.”

Five delicious lunches

Well, I only get to choose five, so balancing the nutrition should be a treat…not.

But I suppose I must begin with bananas (Nature’s Perfect Food, the ads used to say). And they are chock full of useful calories and carbs, and a surprising amount of potassium and trace elements rarely found elsewhere. Gorilla diet = human food. I’ll pass on the bugs as a protein source though, thanks.

A breedable and sustainable protein source. I guess Goats? Easier to maintain than beef, for sure. Damn, I was hoping to get by without needing to learn butchery. Robinson Crusoe in his goat-skin cap, here we come!

I hope my desert island has an ocean. Need seafood, please. I guess crabs are the easiest to acquire, generally speaking. (Can we cheat some not-on-the-list variety, here?)

So protiens and carbs, what’s missing? Probably just vitamins?

Gimme that orange tree (that miraculously grows in this climate), since Scurvy is one of the big malnutrition boys.

Iron from the red meat, iodine from the seafood…what’s a good source of Vitamin A? Hmm, looks like sweet potatoes. Another starchy carb!

Hey, I may even put on weight, on this desert isle.

Well, that’s all I get to choose. Hope there’s enough trace elements in this spread. Nutritionist! I think there’s something missing (antioxidants?), but hey, they only gave me five.

Better be some damned coconuts or breadfruit or something on this island!

Hey, get out of my hut, damn goat. Shoo!

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You’ve being exiled to a private island, and your captors will only supply you with five foods. What do you pick?

Hint: Eat your captors and escape!

Clones (we’re all)

No, not an emaciated and substance-abusing Alice’s worst idea ever. It was 1980, there was no shortage of horrible video ideas to /point and /laugh at. “Cooper’s albums from the beginning of the 1980s have been referred to by Cooper as his “blackout albums” because he cannot remember recording them, due to the influence of substances including crack cocaine and alcohol.”

A lot of musicians go through crash-and-burn periods like this. Not many survive it.

What’s truly weird is that other bands have chosen to cover Clones… ?Why?

So anyway, yesterday’s topic (today because my work schedule is borked up this week) is Clones. What I’d make the poor sap do, so that I wouldn’t have to.

Seems like a cheerful topic, right? “List all the things you hate doing, and dump them on YouTwo.”

I don’t think I could be quite that mean to Dave. He could cover these crack-of-dawn shifts for me, that’s for sure…

Oh, and get us more sleep, ok dude? We really need a nice, long crash this week.

I’ll take care of this part here.

Now, fix us some breakfast. Chop chop.

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If you could clone yourself, how would you split up your responsibilities?

We destroyed time

Great, now that hunk-of-junk from ’80 is going to be ear-worming me all day.

Irrelevant non-conclusions

For the next few days, I need to get out of bed and head off to work during the StupidEarly™ hours of the chilly, sub-zero mornings.

Which means before the daily post people issue me a prompt. Couple of hours after I leave today.

So I’m on my own. Winging it. Sans idea, drowning in the well of my own despair. “Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.”

The despair this morning arises from a lot of lack of sleep (see above), and a very sore back (partially responsible for the lack of sleep).

I worry about how many productive working years I have left. The old bod is just breaking down too quickly.

“Lose weight”, says my wife. Easy-peasy, I’ll just hack off an arm. I got a spare!

“Get more excercise,” says my back. Everyone’s just full of helpful advice.

“Get out of the damn computer chair, its been killing you slowly for years,” says my brain.

“Go work out, pump you up. Pick things up and put them down,” says Brad. Er, really, no, no thanks.

Maybe I should get a laptop and do my writing in bed? Sure, that will help :eyeroll:

But I don’t have any alternative, at least not for writing. It’s just not a good cardio sport.

At war with myself. The things I love doing most are pretty sedentary activities. Sedentary is killing me. So is age.

Exercise consists of the things I do at work. Mostly lifting and carrying and walking walking walking walking walking walking. How’s that working out for us again, back muscles?

So…yeah. Rock and a hard place. A million and one excuses not to change anything.

Dr. Cobo? Wanna tell ’em what’ll happen then?  :: sigh ::

Getting old just sucks, I friggin hate it.

RecDave Seal

Whine whine bitch moan complain.

Backup singers, that’s your cue!

What’s displayed on my walls

Well there’s a few dragons, a phoenix, and a hydra. And a castle.

It’s not so much to create a  mood as it is reflective of a time period. The last of these pieces to go up on the wall is a huge cross stitch/embroidery piece that Annie did, when she was in that particular crafty phase.

That was finished just before Brad was born, if I’m not mistaken. Yes, horrors!! my wall art has been static since shortly after we were married. At least 25 years.

Much closer to this guy
Much closer to this guy
Than this guy.
Than to this one.

The others are huckster art from one SF/gaming convention or another, and from King Richard’s Faire (which is now Bristol’s), an annual summer Ren Fair just over the border in Wisconsin. We used to drive up for that every year, with our geeky gamer friends.

So what does that say about me? I guess it means we rarely pay any attention at all to interior decorating.

Or that we are weird fantasy-gamer geeks? That could be true.

Guess I peaked in the 90s. I should be in a Rob Lowe commercial.

Isn’t that depressing? Hey, thanks DP!

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What do you display on the walls of your home — photos, posters, artwork, nothing? How do you choose what to display? What mood are you trying to create?

Did I mention the severed heads?