In defense of delicious ribs

I feel a little silly defending something that’s so self-evidently delicious. You know, if you’ve ever had a really good rib, that they don’t need any defense.

But those wicked folks at the Daily Post have threatened to remove this most delicious form of all meats unless I can convince them otherwise.

Well, convincing them otherwise takes no more than a convincing enough threat, right? I mean, I could do the terrorist bit, declare a holy jihad against rib-antagonists. But it isn’t necessary to; their foolishness is self-evident to all right-thinking (and rib-eating) people.

Oh sure, there are certain major religions that have a thing about Pork–but your ribs don’t have to be pork. There are certain other religions that have a thing against cows–but your ribs don’t have to be beef, either.

Veggie-nutarians… Well, if you can’t see the basic superiority of a fat-dripping, barbecue-lathered inherently delicious falling-off-the-bone rib…available evidence suggests you just weren’t raised properly. Back to the beginning of the food line with you, and do it properly this time.

My ancestors struggled for half a million years to reach the top of the food chain. Who am I to sneer at their struggles?

And what does one eat, at the apex of the food chain?

If one is very, very lucky–one devours as many ribs as can be stuffed into one’s face. And then licks barbecue from his fingers with  happiness and a contented eructation, while admiring the Perfection  of a Universe That Has Ribs In It.

Imaging the horrors of a universe that didn’t? ::shudder::

Ribs have absolutely everything that’s bad for you in one tasty package. So of course they’re delicious.

I have religious theories regarding why this Truth is so. Maybe some other time, we’re running long today.

Pass the BBQ sauce, please Annette?

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Snipe my ribs and you die

You have three hundred words to justify the existence of your favorite person, place, or thing. Failure to convince will result in it vanishing without a trace. Go!

P.S. I am quite talented at making ribs vanish, with or without any help.

Teacher’s Pet

Tell us about a teacher who had a real impact on your life, either for the better or the worse. How is your life different today because of him or her?

I believe I’ve already had this one. Actually, I’ve already written the topic, but not this exact prompt. In any case, let me give you two:

Watanbe-San and Ms. Barrich.

Similar enough in approach that I don’t feel up to coming up with a third. Only so much writing one guy can do about “when I was a kid”, the constant retrospective focus… Is dreary.

Anyway, we’ll see you again tomorrow :wave:

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But I already wrote this theme

On a side note: blizzard conditions today. So yay, I’ve got that going for me… Short trip to work, only about three miles, fortunately. But I don’t have a great car for blizzards.

Wish me luck!