Hero saves the day

“You folks, git movin’ on into the next car. We ain’t got all day.”

The bandits waved their guns around, directing everyone into the last passenger car. Women were trying desperately to keep their little ones quiet, not an easy task with all of these guns on display. Their men clutched luggage and belongings, shuffling in the slow-moving queue, looking pale.

When the desperados stopped the train, rumors had dispersed through the passengers at the speed of panic, but now all was grimly quiet. The bandits intended to either take hostages, or just collect everyone into a single car and strip them of their valuables.

The masked rider in white suddenly appeared on a pale horse galloping toward the front of the train. “We’re saved!” The women cheered…

“Jimmy. We’re in Spokane, time to see Grandma.”

“What happened to all the bandits, momma?”

Momma just laughed, “No bandits, Jimmy, just us.”

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150 words. Inspired by this week’s Friday Fictioneers prompt:

PHOTO PROMPT – © Jennifer Pendergast

18 thoughts on “Hero saves the day”

  1. I know those are freight cars. But still…just wanted to do a kid’s-eye view of a Lone Ranger incident. Sorry for the hackneyed ‘just a dream’ ending.

    1. As usual I’d feel much happier with double the word count (or even longer). Could/would have produced a completely different tale. A kid’s daydream should feel more… Dreamy, surreal. A stirring fight scene, the mysterious stranger triumphant. Conceptually too big for 100 words.

  2. I know who that masked hero is — the Lone Ranger! LOL! I would have to say that either he has one fantastic imagination or his mother put on quite a show for him. 🙂

  3. I can’t wait to read a day dream about Mighty Mouse.
    “Here I come to save the day!”
    that means that Mighty Mouse is on the way.

    i hope you know the reference….
    fun story – good descriptions of the hold up.

  4. I like the detail he’s poured into this dream / daydream; who wouldn’t want to be in a Lone Ranger movie??? There are places you could probably prune the word count more, to get towards the 100 target – thsoe first two paragraphs are full of words and more slow-moving than the action might suggest.

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