“Thank you for your patience, Mr. Morrison. You’ve been waiting quite a while, and I need to apologize. With so many to process, we’re a bit behind. I’m doing my best, but we’re understaffed right now, won’t you forgive me? Thank you.”
“Here comes the last bit, let me just hook up this hose. Turn this valve and voilà. Just what you needed sir, thick and syrupy, I’m sure you’ll be quite pleased. You’ll find it delightful, fruity, with just a hint of formaldehyde—our very finest vintage, sir, nothing but the best for you. Into your arteries, that’s right.”
In response to this weed’s Friday Fictioneers prompt:
28 thoughts on “Pour some sugar on me”
Interesting service and novel take on the prompt.
No thanks, I’ll pass on that “service” for as long as possible, please.
I think he’s been spending too much time around dead people 🙂
He just likes chatting with the customers.
Ah..The Formaldehyde changed the image from a restruant to a funeral home . A subtle twist. Nicely done.
I actually spent an hour this morning researching exactly what was in embalming fluids…fascinating reading. Kind of creepy, though!
And I here was thinking you are an undertaker 🙂 Interesting how we end up researching and go on tangents when writing a 100 word story.
I think he needs to get out with the living a little more often. Interesting – and fun – take on the picture.
But the living are so…warm. Ew.
I’ll take cremation thank you very much. I inhaled enough formaldehyde in med school to last into the afterlife. Good one Dave.
Isn’t lasting into the afterlife the whole point?
I think talking to your clients like this might be an indication that you have spent too many years at the job 🙂
I’ll let my boss know. I’m sure he’s got his own theories about me, though.
I’m not sure Mr Morrison is going to be complaining about being kept waiting. Great story, loved the twist.
Mr. Morrison doesn’t have much to say. Which is good, the Complaints Dept. has an excessively long waiting time.
Oh wow! I hope his clients never talk back…
I’m sure they’re pretty quiet, in general.
Just another day in the life of Mort the mortician. Nice one.
Now I’m imagining him humming while he works. He must be a pretty relaxed guy.
Yuck! I’m even more convinced, just head first into the compost bin when I go. Good stuff!
Now that’s a bargain funeral plan.
What a delightful take on the prompt. At least he won’t get any backtalk.
That was diffferent, made me chuckle. Great take on the prompt.
Dave, that was a great and humorous, though creepy, story about an embalmer working on a body. However, that being said, I could probably have gone happily through the rest of my life not knowing what was in that embalming fluid. Well done. 🙂 — Suzanne
Well, I was a chemistry major once. I guess that leads to some weird “what’s in that?” obsessiveness.
Most entertaining. I love the quirkiness of it, and the mortician chatting as he works is a wonderful idea.
Well, how else you gonna get through an eight-hour day?