“Your breath could gag buzzards.”
Just what you need to hear first thing in the morning, right? This is a delicate part of the dance of marriage. It is indecorous and suicidal to counter with “rats have nested in your hair.” Because toxic exhalations can be injurious to the other party, morning breath is always fair game. Under the “promotion of domestic tranquility” clause in the contract, it’s covered.
Hollywood never gets that right.
Trained by years in the harness, I stumble into the bathroom for some modern oral hygiene methodology.
Reaching for my toothbrush, I freeze. My skin is roughening, drying out before my eyes. When I feel it, it’s hard. There are armor-thick patches forming and fissures between the… Scales?
I gaze at my reflection with growing horror. My skin is darkening and tinted greenish. With every passing moment, it grows thicker, harder, and I look more crocodilian.
Dryness is scratching at my throat, and I cough once. A wave of greenish fire envelops the toothbrush in my clawed hand, and the brush melts into liquefied plastic slag.
My morning breath may actually be atomic. If I grow 98 meters taller, I think Tokyo is in serious trouble.
199 words. Inspired by this week’s Sunday Photo Fiction prompt:
So yeah, this was a brilliant film…not.
22 thoughts on “Somebody Needs a Tic Tac”
I enjoyed that! The tone is just right with subtle humour throughout and a great last line!
Heh, maybe a little racist of me to jump from Japanese writing directly to Godzilla, but I watched a Toho flick just yesterday.
Even worse (eek), what if they’re Chinese?! Korean?! Oh dear.
And they are Chinese! But it’s what the picture inspires that matters. It’s a good story. Stand tall in your best Godzilla suit. 😉
::RAWR STOMP SMASH:: Hey, this is fun! Why is my wife looking at me funny?
If I am mistaken about the writing, I’m sure someone will let you and me know…
They are Chinese 🙂
Aha! We expected someone who actually knew would show up, sooner or later.
Good, while Godzilla is stomping Tokyo, we can make our getaway!
Well, I like this.
I think it is well developed and funny.
And I recognise this marriage thing you mention.
I tried it once.
My wife didn’t like it.
Wimmin–they’re just mean like that.
Morning breath could be the least of her problems!
“C’mere baby, give us a kiss.” “Hey, come back!”
Oh wow, I loved this. So creative. A dragon from ‘dragons breathe.’ I guess dragons are not extinct after all. We only need have breath that bad. Great writing!
Godzilla vs. MechaGodzilla II was on the tube a couple days back… I’m so sorry!
This was so imaginative! Really enjoyed reading it! 🙂
::Godzilla very carefully avoids stomping the homes of readers::
“Because toxic exhalations can be injurious to the other party,” My favorite line. Enjoyed the read!
This was fantastic! He changed right before me eyes! Hahaha!
He didn’t seem too happy about it. Maybe that’s why Godzilla is so grumpy all the time?
Maybe so! It was a great story! Just like the weer wolves in the old movies, he transformed right before our eyes!
Magnificent! I really loved this.
Thanks for your participation during 2015, and I look forward to what you produce during 2016.
Happy New Year
Thanks! Aw, sure, you betcha, any time, etc. etc.