Category Archives: Phabulous Phiction

All things fantastic, surreal, and sublime.

Inspirational Statuary

Maria Shulman held her boyfriend captive in her arms. Her dilated pupils stayed locked on Sheonog while her hands roamed freely over Stephen’s chest. She whispered in her boyfriend’s ear and her teeth tugged at his earlobe. Young Stephen flushed and then nodded.

Father Flaherty watched the couple exiting the chapel hastily with amusement.

“Are you sure this isn’t witchcraft of some sort? You cannot control this effect?”

“Others have thought that. Some villagers in France once chased me away with pitchforks and torches. There’s some magic involved, that just comes from being a gargoyle, but it’s partly psychological and doesn’t seem to be inimical. There won’t be any local demon-children or a general rise in evil or anything.”

Shenog settled his heavy stone body into the relaxed kneeling position customary to his race.

“It’s muted by range, which is why we generally hang out on rooftops. I tend to inspire more “charming gothic romance” when viewed at a distance, instead of the close-up “wicked lustful thoughts” effect. Which is why I asked to rent your belfry, Father.”

“You might even be good for the parish population, if we established some sort of newlywed chapel belfry tour…”

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197 words, for this week’s Sunday Photo Fiction prompt:

Hell is Empty and all the Devils are Here

Dust. All around her was dust.

Anomaly held her eyes shut and stooped on the sand, trying to still the coughing and feebly filter air through her cupped hands. The tempest raged on, and her simple bra and panties did nothing to reduce the sandpaper abrasions on her bare skin.

She drew the deepest breath she could manage and held it, concentrating on calm. Meditation techniques learned at the Facility helped push back the terror and control her coughing.

This dust storm was enormous even by west Texas standards. Oh yes, she could feel the immense power within it, the static potential from all of those countless trillions of wind-driven particulates rubbing against one another.

Anomaly focused and took control of the free electron soup, and she felt the snap of incoming power come leaping at her command. It was a trivial matter to apply an electrostatic charge to her skin surface, and she felt cleaner immediately when the dust and sand was repelled away and fell to earth. A few more coughs cleared her throat and lungs.

She stood, and expanded the charged bubble around her. The field blocked the blown dust at the charge horizon, and she stood watching the sandstorm unfolding from a bubble of clear air inside it.

“Put your hands up. You’re coming back to the Facility with me, freak.”

Anomaly half-raised her hands and turned very slowly, making no sudden moves.

The corporate mercenary stood atop a nearby hillock pointing a large-caliber automatic rifle her direction, its red laser pointer targeting dot dancing across her stomach.

She raised her hands fully, stepping closer.

“Sure officer, I’ll come along quietly.”

She could feel the delicious high-energy electron trails coursing throughout his armor and servos. That combat armor power supply would prove remarkably convenient.

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298 words. For this week’s Cracked Flash Fiction prompt (the first line).



Midnight on the Boulevard de Clichy

The bitter redolence of anise and herbs cloys and nauseates, lingering disagreeably on the palate like a penniless relation. The tourist sets the glass of “Bohemian wonder” aside, dismissing another exaggerated experience.

That evening, he slips in behind her, the cygnet he’s selected. She is a celebrated provincial artist’s model, an unattended swan with an exquisitely elongated neck. Beneath the great dark cloak, his fingers caress his dearest. Stroking the keen edge of his anticipation, he appreciates its firm chilly linearity emerging from its case.

Tonight, Paris’ flawless pen entertains his distinctive painting style. The traveler’s discovered the only piquant diversion offered in this fin de siècle washout city.

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109 words. For this week’s Microcosms (8) challenge, using Tourist/at the Moulin Rouge/Horror

Herd Instincts

“Lulu, you’ve abandoned your guard post again.”

“I’m sorry, Nganga Abada. I just had to get away from the herd for a while.”

“Why, child? The herd needs you, it needs all of us.”

“I just feel trapped in this clumsy body. I’ve been keeping a secret from everyone, Nganga, my whole life. All I’ve ever wanted to do is dance. Can you imagine anything more alien for a rhino? I’m so ashamed.”

“Very well, stand still until I call.”

The massive old cow backed up and charged, muttering mystic words. With a thud, she buried her horn in Lulu’s armor just behind the shoulder.

Abada pulled with her horn, ripping away massive pieces of the younger cow’s armored hide. The pile of discarded plates grew throughout the morning, until nothing but leathery grey armor remained in a heap.

“Your disloyalty was the chink in your armor, Lulu. Therefore, I’ve banished you to a smaller and more agile form. Come forth.”

A brownish oxpecker bird hopped out of the armor pile and flapped its wings experimentally.

“In this form you still serve. Now, resume your guard duties from my back. I have an itch. Peck out the bugs, if you would.

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201 words, for this week’s Sunday Photo Fiction prompt:

Too Heavy for Milan

“That enormous bloated hippo has been gobbling the pancakes again. Look at those thunder thighs.”

“She looked better in Milan,” Mr. Binky agreed.

The live video feed covered the closing catwalk march of this year’s Lingerie & Nightwear Trade Fair from Dortmunde. The last walk of the show went to Celeste, as usual. She was the highest paid model on the circuit and the holder of the most prestigious catalogs with six covers this year.

“We’ve got to get her back in shape for Paris. It’s only four weeks, Binky.”

“Sew her mouth closed until then, perhaps.”

“We need to do something. She’s going to eat us right out of the spotlight if we don’t stop her.”

Backstage, handlers moved in like practiced and ordered machinery, peeling the hair sprayed bustiers and panties from the models and issuing warm bathrobe replacements. Celeste walked directly to her personal dressing room, ignoring the prattling chaos.

Celeste spoke as she stepped inside, “Mission ‘Catwalk’ completed.”

“Not quite,” Anna Marie pounced. “We need to have a talk, Celeste. About your overeating, you’re putting on far too much weight.”

“This unit does not eat.”

“Shut up,” Anna Marie screamed. “Tell her, Mr. Binky.”

“The stuffed toy does not speak. The stuffed toy has never spoken,” Celeste replied.

Anna Marie Brownlee raised her large-caliber automatic pistol and aimed it directly at Celeste’s forehead.

“Look to your left,” Celeste responded.

To Anna’s left was a full-length mirror. Reflected in it were two dazzling and nearly identical supermodels. The model with disheveled hair was holding a handgun and a plushie unicorn.

“This android unit functions only as your security double in public exposure situations. This unit is incapable of putting on weight.”

Mr. Binky whinnied. “That bitch is cray cray,” and the gun went off.

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296 words, for ZeroFlash (February)


We thought the weaponized ground predators were bad. The arms race began with remote-controlled great cats (probably the most obvious choice), the enhanced lions and upgraded carbon fiber Jaguars. As the war dragged on and neural interface technologies became cheaper and more capable, other species came into play; the hyenas and wild dogs, the wolves and bears. The bears were awesome engines of destruction—do you remember that wartime video of the grizzly with four cougars on its back, brushing them off against trees and crushing them one at a time?

The real trouble didn’t start until the war ended and the corporate sector gained control of the technology for the consumer market. Consumers began controlling and piloting nightmares with their phone aps.

First were the reptiles, the consumer enthusiast clubs in Florida staging the crocodile cage matches. It took only months until the venomous snakes appeared on the scene and the first messy divorces terminated with messy murders.

The larger ground predators were nearly all extinct by the time the remote-controlled android drones began to appear. Seagulls were wired with cameras and capable of delivering munitions. High post defensive sentry drones and road rage effectively ended traffic almost overnight.

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200 words for this week’s Sunday Photo Fiction prompt:

Scarlet Teacup

The fossil somehow managed to dodder his way into a booth. Margot’s approach confirmed her suspicion that the fetid stench arose from the cheek-sucking old invalid.

“What can I get you, hon?”

“Tea.” His palsied hands trembled as he placed a large copper coin on the table. “Please.”

“Buddy, do you need a doctor?”

He met her gaze directly for the first time. “I am furious, not ill. I would have you pilloried for such scandalous attire, exposing so much…” He indicated her skirted server uniform with a gesture, “Limb.”

“Just what century do you think this is, Bub?”

He paled. “That might be the fundamental question, I fear.”

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110 words, for this week’s Microcosms (Judge/Truch Stop/Sci-Fi).

No Fury

They say Widow Walker stormed down to drag her husband back from the riverboat dock where the gambling and carousing went on every Friday night. She pushed grown dockhands clear off the pier into the river, the silly ones that tried to stop her, the Pinkertons and roustabouts. Then she stared down the bullyboys guarding the entrance to the Golden Nugget riverboat, and them hardened hombres backed down whining like whipped dogs. The real trouble started when Widow Walker found her husband drinking with a different painted floozy on each knee. That’s the night Haunted Pier burned to the waterline.

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Inspired by this week’s Friday Fictioneers prompt:



Abomination is now live on Amazon. That’s about half the job (the easiest half). I need to get things going on Lulu (generally painless) and Smashwords (often a pain).

And then sit back and collect the piles cash!

Or not. Usually not.

RecDave Seal

Publication pending on Lulu, Kobo, Smashwords (and all of the sub-distributors they cover).