Tag Archives: time machine

I’ve got a golden twinkle in my eye

All right. My first thought for this particular assignment was totally nerdy and totally retro and totally…well, lame, to anyone but me, I suppose.

You’ve been given a key that can open one building, room, locker, or box to which you don’t normally have access. How do you use it, and why?

Given that fabulous golden key that opens any door: I want to run wild through Rick Nielsen’s guitar collection.

Cheap_Trick_at_Gulfstream_Park_-_Rick_Nielsen By Carl Lender [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons
What’s that? Well, a quick Google of Rick Nielsen Guitars will turn up a ton of articles and blog posts and such (here’s one), it’s a rather famous private collection. There’s a coffee table book, touring advertising, tv spots…

I’d just like to wander through, play Stairway under the “No Stairway” sign, and listen to the man himself talk about his babies. But I suppose I’d be embarrassed to plunk through Stairway with a guitar player of Rick’s caliber watching…whoa, bad old nerd and playing badly! Stop the fantasy, my ears!

So after gabbing with Annie for a bit, we came up with some better alternatives. The first idea was one I’d already thought of (in a general way), but it does sound like fun: egypttouring the Egyptology Wing in a museum that has a great one…the British Museum,  maybe?

Egyptian stuff is way cool, and having all the time you want to read and explore and research…  Yeah, I could enjoy doing that, particularly in a premier collection of one of the world’s great museums.

But that idea actually didn’t last very long, before being revised to Golden Key Mark III: a key to a working time machine. Why restrict yourself to a dead exhibit, if you can go and see history live? H. G. Wells would be proud; if we can avoid the Morlocks, it’s a fascinating idea. All of history to explore! Not a matter of “where”, but rather “Where First“?

Golden Key Mark IV is an Annie variant: a train passenger car that goes anywhere you want it to. She likes Anywhere better than Anywhen, I guess. Both of them sound like a great time, to me.

Did you notice the original assignment didn’t mention a time limit? :HUGE grin: That means we get to keep the keys!!!

I’m so there.

RecDave Seal

Golden Hinde? Who let Drake in here?


Budget Time Machine

Present-day you meets 10-years-ago you for coffee. Share with your younger self the most challenging thing, the most rewarding thing, and the most fun thing they have to look forward to.

Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.”—naw, I’m just messing with you man. What is this, 2004? What in the world are we doing at Starbucks with the damn hipsters? You know we don’t like this coffee garbage—look across the street, maybe we can get a Dr. Pepper over yonder.

Ah, that is better. Caffeine is one of the things we need to give up, really. Anyway, I know you’re terrible at taking advice from anyone, and you’re going to go ahead and do your own thing, regardless what I say, right? That’s a character flaw; we’re loaded with ‘em. But I’ve got to warn you what’s coming up…and you need to take this one pretty seriously. Just try to not be so stubborn about this one, all right?

About eight years from now (glances at watch), a little less, you’re going to have a stroke. Enormous high blood pressure, the smoking, the weight…dude, it’s all going to try to kill you, and quickly. I can’t stress this enough…we do survive, as you can see, but a little slower, a tiny bit of speech impediment, less fine motor skill. And damn did we get lucky on that. Don’t fuck with the Fates, or they will smite us.

Get yourself on BP meds right away. And stop the damned smoking, before you’re surrounded by terror and doctors telling you that it just (almost) killed you. Get that weight down, quit that toxic stress-factory of a job (can’t trust those assholes anyway: don’t), and work on becoming a real person again. I mean that.

The most rewarding thing…well, Brad just moved out of the house, doing the first-apartment-and-roomies thang (so far, he’s doing it way better than we did); we’re pretty proud of him, he turned out pretty OK, all things considered. Despite your best efforts to screw that one up, he turned into a functioning human-person. The dude is buff as hell, whipping old-flabbies like us into shape.

The “most fun” thing is kind of a… Well, you know how we are, what we like today and what we like tomorrow changes too quickly, sometimes. Right at this moment we’re having a lot of fun writing and blogging; maybe we’ll be into that one for a good long time, maybe not. It seems too dangerously introspective, on days like today. And it seems too retrospective on other days, you know how boring those “always living in the past” old farts are. But maybe that’s good for us, I dunno. It’s fun, anyway; maybe you should try it earlier.

Cut that hair, you look like crap. Gotta go man, the return ticket’s gonna expire soon. Good luck, go home and kiss your wife, right now!

RecDave Seal


Good Tidings