From the family archives

A snail walked into the Ferrari dealer. After looking over the showroom models, and he selected the biggest, fastest, most expensive sports car on the lot.

Delighted, the salesman began typing up the sales contract, already thinking ahead to his next vacation from the huge sales commission.

“Wait a minute,” said the snail. “I have some special requirements before I sign any contract.”

“Of course, sir, anything. What did you have in mind?”

“Well, I need the car repainted.”

The salesman glanced at the car, examining the bright, perfect factory finish. “Repainted, sir?”

“Yes,” said the snail. “I need it painted flashy bright yellow, so that no one could possibly miss it. And I need a bold red ‘S’ painted on each door, and on the hood.”

“Of course, we can do that,” replied the salesman, “But may I ask why?”

“I’ve always been laughed at, for being so slow,” said the snail. “Now I want people to see me going fast fast FAST. They’ll watch and admire as I motor up and down the strip on a crisp, bright morning. They’ll watch me and they’ll exclaim:”

Wow! Look at that S car go!!”


One of my uncles (Stanley?) was fond of this and similar groaners. Don’t blame me! It’s still stuck in my head from when I was a kid!

The abusive things children are subjected to. Just shameful!

RecDave Seal


Trio no. 4


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